pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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