Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
