New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
