I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
