She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
