I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
