I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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