i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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