So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
