Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
