Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
