I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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