If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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