Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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