You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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