he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
