My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
