we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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