i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
