This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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