Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
