I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
