That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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