i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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