did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
