Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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