i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
