yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm eating all of the evidence.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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