his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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