You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
two words: eviction party
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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