you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
