Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
