Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
