Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
