We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
