I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize