I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
