Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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