last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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