my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
