why didn't you poke me back
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
