the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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