He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
