hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED