Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.

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  (604): Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den. http://tfl.nu/26h2
  Replies (20) Good night (2336) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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  (609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle
  Replies (37) Good night (611) Bad night (3461)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl

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  (913): Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl http://tfl.nu/6ay2
  Replies (6) Good night (627) Bad night (2698)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you

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  (732): It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/fjdb
  Replies (25) Good night (524) Bad night (4841) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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  (480): Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that. http://tfl.nu/wbxh
  Replies (13) Good night (4522) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood

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  (336): the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood http://tfl.nu/dx4f
  Replies (52) Good night (4222) Bad night (1090) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This explains so much.

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  (205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy
  Replies (30) Good night (17940) Bad night (902)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.

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  (573): I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it. http://tfl.nu/ikx5
  Replies (10) Good night (840) Bad night (3768) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2208) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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  (516): i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD http://tfl.nu/cfey
  Replies (5) Good night (1969) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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  (706): On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related. http://tfl.nu/0zhl
  Replies (12) Good night (2401) Bad night (437)
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  (718): View more from New York

  There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.

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  (718): There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood. http://tfl.nu/j8qe
  Replies (13) Good night (1252) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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  (414): Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course. http://tfl.nu/ipu8
  Replies (7) Good night (1173) Bad night (730)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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  (704): She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason. http://tfl.nu/coul
  Replies (4) Good night (1374) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."

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  (734): Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed? (734): You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it." http://tfl.nu/yuio
  Replies (4) Good night (890) Bad night (189)

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