this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He felt like a one man threesome
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?