Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5
  Replies (9) Good night (1379) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again http://tfl.nu/89sh
  Replies (29) Good night (1069) Bad night (2889)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx
  Replies (16) Good night (740) Bad night (3608)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c
  Replies (16) Good night (5871) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers. http://tfl.nu/lnvf
  Replies (22) Good night (5849) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon. http://tfl.nu/y6s2
  Replies (11) Good night (3838) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands http://tfl.nu/jxb1
  Replies (12) Good night (4307) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!? http://tfl.nu/uvtx
  Replies (5) Good night (2088) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg
  Replies (8) Good night (3054) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside. http://tfl.nu/kaff
  Replies (6) Good night (1478) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  So. She dumped me today.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): So. She dumped me today. (425): Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving". http://tfl.nu/4be4
  Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (3396)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects http://tfl.nu/c75x
  Replies (3) Good night (1408) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Where's Taylor bro?

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Never mind found him under the sink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Where's Taylor bro? (864): Never mind found him under the sink http://tfl.nu/2ttk
  Replies (0) Good night (706) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic. http://tfl.nu/ch95
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (426)

Randomize