ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
