I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize