I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
