so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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