Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
