I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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