I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
then he tried to convert me to islam
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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