physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
