First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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