Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
