i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
