Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize