I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
