'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sobbing to NWA
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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