I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Who died my cat blue again?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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