maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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