You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
