I'm going to jail i love you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
