You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
pray to the hookup gods
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
