Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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