I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
